Getting Healthy Sleep

How have you been sleeping? Where are you sleeping? How long do you sleep?

If you are like most adults, you are likely not getting enough sleep. Most adults try to get by on five to six hours of sleep each night. We are busy. You may work outside of the home and then have all the tasks at home to address during the evening hours. You may have children who are involved in activities that keep you busy throughout most of the week. It may be that you have gotten into an unhealthy habit of staying up late to watch favorite television shows or to surf the internet. In the end, it is often sleep that is sacrificed. Do you know what kinds of effects sleep deprivation have?

Sleep is the time when our bodies rejuvenate from our busy days. Healing of muscles and tissues and restoring of energy takes place. Memory consolidation also takes place during sleep, meaning that all the information you were exposed to during the day is filed into the appropriate space so that it can be retrieved when needed. For children, who are learning sponges, sleep is vital to being a successful student.

So when we are not getting enough sleep, we are likely to feel as though we are running on half a tank of energy, as opposed to having our full resources at our disposal. We do not think as clearly. Our concentration may be disrupted. Our memory begins to fail us. Certainly, most of us have also experienced the irritability that comes along with not getting enough sleep. Do you also know that there are potentially serious health consequences of not getting adequate sleep? Sleep deprivation increases our risk for obesity, heart attacks, and anxiety and depression.

What can I do? If you can relate with some of the above, working toward restoring good sleep hygiene is likely to be helpful. What does it mean to have good sleep hygiene? Essentially, it means getting into a routine so that you are training your body when to expect and how to go to sleep. Isn’t it as simple as lying down and closing my eyes? For the lucky, this may be true. Some people can fall asleep wherever and whenever. For most of us, however, our bodies need to be prepared for sleep. Starting with the environment, you can help improve your sleep by making your sleep space comfortable. Get a quality mattress. Use comfortable sheets and have blankets for layering so that you can adjust to your comfort level. Have a supportive pillow, possibly utilize a body pillow as well to support other parts of your body. Determine whether you need some white noise (such as a fan or noise machine) to help cover up intrusive noises. (If you have a partner who snores, you may also want to invest in some ear plugs to help block the noise.) Set the thermostat at a cooler temperature during your sleeping hours. Your sleep space should also only be used for sleeping and for sexual activities. This means not eating in bed and not reading or lounging in your sleep space. Your body will be confused as to what is expected if you are using your sleep space for activities other than sleep.

Other activities that can interfere with sleep include eating too close to bedtime. You should try to make your last meal or snack about two hours before you want to sleep; otherwise, your body will be working to process and digest the food when you are trying to get it to shut down and turn off for sleep.
Limit caffeine, alcohol, and nicotine intake in the evenings as well, as these all can interfere with the sleep structure.
Exercise can be very helpful in getting good sleep. Exercising most every day for 30 to 60 minutes can help burn off energy and loosen muscles. Think broadly here. Exercise can include such things as walking, biking, gardening, playing kickball with the children, dancing with a partner, stretching and doing yoga. However, exercising too close to bedtime can interfere with sleep because being active raises your body temperature and typically when you are falling asleep your body is cooling down. The same can be true of taking warm baths or warm showers too close to bedtime. These can raise your body temperature and can then delay the onset of sleep. So, while exercising is beneficial to sleeping well, be sure to exercise no closer than two hours before sleep time. Taking a warm shower or bath can also help to relax you and you may want to try this a couple of hours prior to sleep.
Disengaging from stimulation and having a time to transition to sleep is also helpful. This means turning off the television and getting off of the computer in order to signal your body to start slowing down and shutting down for sleep.

If you have tried in earnest toward establishing and maintaining a healthy sleep routine and are still having problems with sleep and low energy, it may be worthwhile to consult with your doctor for any possible medical causes to your sleep problems. If you believe stress, depression, or anxiety may be contributing to your sleep difficulties, please consider therapy as an option for addressing those areas. Here’s hoping you have a good night’s sleep!

Filed Under: Helpful Articles

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Couple Counseling

By Don Damsteegt, PhD • September 20, 2023

By Don Damsteegt, PhD Relationships are the greatest source of joy in our lives and the greatest source of pain. When couples come to Family Psychology Associates for assistance with their relationship, they experience caring counselors whose goal is to create a safe environment in which to talk to one another, to improve communication, and to improve problem-solving. A specialized technique for couple counseling is Imago Relationship Therapy. This counseling approach emphasizes the importance of listening to one’s partner and validating what is heard for the purpose of one’s own and the other’s growth. When people come for counseling they will be encouraged to practice dialogical communication, which means not immediately responding, but first listening and then acknowledging what was heard. This makes it safe for the speaker to speak and it allows the listener to understand the speaker at a deeper level. For example, a common pattern is for Partner A to say, “I’m frustrated about X.” Partner B may then say, “Why are you frustrated?” or “Just get over it.” or “What did you do to make the other person react that way?” All of these responses invalidate what the speaker has said. We might say this is normal communication, but it is not helpful communication. In couple counseling, the counselor emphasizes listening and validating what the speaker has said. For example, if one partner (the speaker) says, “I’m frustrated about X,” the other partner (the listener) seeks to respond with empathy and understanding. “So you are frustrated about X. Did I get that right? Is there more to that?” Then the listener will seek to validate and empathize with the speaker. “If I were in your shoes I would feel frustrated too. It makes sense that you would want X not to do that. I can imagine that makes you feel hurt.” This is called “Mirroring, Validating and Empathizing (MVE)” This style of communication is rare. One of the gifts that couple counseling offers is a chance to be able to express yourself in a vulnerable manner and to know that your partner will receive the communication with empathy and without judgment. This style of communication allows for safety and opens the possibility of more emotional intimacy. This is a tool that partners can use in situations where emotions run high, such as hurt feelings or feeling very grateful. Research has shown that learning to understand your partner’s inner world and communicating one’s understanding in an empathic way improves relationships. If you are struggling with frustration in a relationship, please feel free to call Family Psychology Associates (319-378-1199) to set up a counseling session with your partner.

What to Expect from Counseling

By editor • June 9, 2014

So, what is counseling? Counseling is a focused conversation about things you want to change in your life. Counseling is most effective when it occurs in a relationship in which trust and care are established. Friends and relatives provide a type of counseling, as do clergy, teachers and many others. Psychotherapists are different from others […]

Listening to Teenagers

By editor • March 12, 2014

By Ken Fate I recently started a book study with some parents. We were discussing the book “How To Talk So Teens Will Listen And Listen So Teens Will Talk”, written by Adele Faber and Elaine Mazlish. In this edition I will share some gleanings from Chapter 1 which addresses the issue of feelings. Teenagers […]